Who am I?

The author reflects on personal growth while decluttering, questioning the need for items linked to the past instead of embracing new priorities and creating space for the future to come alive.

Who am I now and why do I have all this stuff?

Question mark sculpture made of branches and flowers in a sunny meadow.
A whimsical question mark sculpture stands tall in a blooming spring meadow.

This morning, as I was lying in bed considering the pros and cons of getting up, I had this thought – “Who am I?” or more specifically “Who am I now, and why do I have all this stuff?”

Let’s rewind a bit.

I love spring – all of the clean-up work, both inside and outside, to make things fresh and new. I have been decluttering and repainting bedrooms this spring and I am getting ready to move my home office into the guest room. But that got me to thinking. Who am I that I need a home office? I don’t work from home anymore. I don’t particularly like to spend time at my desk. I haven’t cracked open any of the leadership books stashed around my home for a couple of years now. Why am I holding on to things that remind me of who I was instead of feeding who I want to be?

This led to another set of questions. What would it look like if I rid myself of these books that I had been hording? What would it look like if I created a comfortable space more reflective of my priorities today instead of a home office with a bed in it?

Once the questions presented themselves, the answers actually came easily.

  1. What would it look like if I rid myself of these books I have been hoarding? Well, I would have more space for books I want to read now, for pictures of family, memories from vacations, and for knitting projects. In short, I would have more space for the things that are important now. And, if I ever feel I need to reference back to one of those books, there is always the library!!
  2. What would it look like if I created a comfortable space more reflective of my priorities today instead of a home office with a bed in it? My guests would have a comfortable and welcoming space to sleep in (I’m talking about you, mom and dad!). I would have a place to practice yoga and work on puzzles without taking over the living room. There would be space for the books that I really do want to keep. Hey, these all sound like good things!

Saying Goodbye

The things that I am looking to rid myself of are things that defined the previous 30 years of my life in the corporate world. The leadership books and the desk represent my climb up the corporate ladder. They represent hard work, challenges and friendships. They represent how we all adapted to working from home during COVID, trying to balance life in a whole new way. They represent long meetings, conversations, and relationships that I will always cherish. I am very thankful for the experiences that they represent, but I have learned what I can from them. I am thankful for the people I met over Zoom calls while sitting behind that desk. But the time has come to let it go. and by “it” I mean the stuff, not the people. Let’s be clear about that!

Saying Hello

Since I am saying goodbye to that last chapter of my life as a Once-upon-a-corporate-world-wife-and-mother, what am I saying Hello to? This clearly isn’t the end. I have a job that I love that feeds my soul and recharges my spirit every day! It does not involve working from home. I have a family that loves to laugh together and support each other. I have so much to be thankful for. As I move forward in life, I want to create space to grow, to share, and to find meaning. That all feels very doable, in fact, I am already doing it.

Your Turn

How about you? Are you holding on to things that defined you in the past that you might just be ready to let go of? Are you ready to move fully into your future? Acknowledge the past, thank it for what you have learned, then look at what you need to carry forward.

Good luck!

Amplify our Strengths!

The author reflects on how the clash of waves symbolizes current societal clashes of opinions. The message emphasizes understanding and respect amidst disagreements, urging individuals to treat each other humanely and work towards amplifying common strengths rather than allowing differences to divide.

When I was in college, my family took a vacation to Lake Powell in southern Utah.  Lake Powell is a big, beautiful lake with many canyons.  One afternoon, my older brother and I took the boat for a ride.  Amidst the boats on Lake Powell that Memorial Day weekend, we were in a relatively small boat.  The larger the boats, combined with the canyon walls to make some pretty big waves.  When you get near the canyon walls, the waves can seem to come from all directions.  That day, we were caught when a wave from a large boat rebounded off a canyon wall, met with another wave heading the opposite direction.

When two waves meet, the size of the waves can be magnified into one large wave, or they can cancel each other out.

In our case, the waves came together to create one large wave right off the bow of our boat.  The wave came over the bow and flooded the boat. For a split second, I thought for sure that we were going to sink.  Fortunately, the next wave lifted the bow of the boat, and the water ran right out the back.  We remained afloat.  

I see the waves of our societal differences coming together in the same way these days.  We hold differing opinions, opinions that can clash at times.  The waves can seem pretty big and coming from all directions.  When these differing views come together, a huge wave is generated.  The question is, will we let these waves sink us, or will we learn from them and move past them.   Will we amplify our differences or will be amplify our common strengths.

We don’t need to agree on everything.  We don’t need to even like each other.  But we must treat everyone as human beings.  When the two waves of differing opinions come together, let’s create from that an even bigger wave of understanding.  It doesn’t have to be agreement, but if we strive to at least understand each other, maybe, just maybe, we can come together peacefully to resolve our differences.

I think of the greatest commandment, to love the Lord our God with all our heart, mind, and strength.  But next in importance is to love our neighbors as ourselves.  If I want to be heard and respected, I can NOT disrespect others and shout them down.  If I am not willing to listen, I should not talk. 

It is OK to disagree. We are individuals, but we are all also humans.  Let’s remember that and treat each other as members of the community of humanity.  Let’s amplify the strengths of humanity even as we work through our differences.

Inertia and Life

Have you ever felt stuck? Let’s explore how to overcome stagnation with support from others. Seek supportive environments for motivation and action. Once you get moving, the momentum gained is amazing.

Stick with me today as I geek out on science today.

I’ve been thinking about inertia.  If you aren’t familiar with this term, here is a quick definition:  Inertia is the tendency of an object to resist changes in its state of motion.  You know, an object in motion tends to stay in motion and an object at rest tends to stay at rest.

Think of a golf ball sitting on a tee.  It will just sit there forever until some force, like a golf club, acts on it and forces it to move.  Once it starts flying, if there wasn’t gravity to act upon the ball, it would just sail off into space.  

Sometimes I am a golf ball! I need a little nudge, or occasionally a big “thwack”, to get me moving.

I had been looking at and talking about a project that I wanted to do at home for a couple of years now.  I didn’t know where to start and I didn’t have the skills to move it forward. I was stuck.  After a year of dreaming of the completed project, I received the nudge that I needed to get moving on it.  The outside force was my dad.  He had the skills needed for the project and was willing to teach me as we worked side-by-side to complete the work.  That outside force made all of the difference.

Have you ever let inertia take hold of you?  Maybe there’s a mess you need to clean up, a garden you need to weed, an apology you need to give, a room you need to paint, a doctor’s appointment you need to make.  Big or small, whatever it is, you know you need to get going, but for whatever reason, you are stuck. 

Here is a gentle nudge to get you going. Ask yourself why this thing you want to do is important to you! Then look around. Are you surrounding yourself with people or situations that are keeping you where you are, or are you surrounded by people and situations that will help you grow and move forward? Being around people in motion can be a great influence and help you get moving.

If you want to get moving on your health, are you associating with people that are also interested in improving their health? If you want to learn something new, are you around people that are also interested in learning? Do you surround yourself with people that are willing to encourage and support your dreams? Do you do the same for others?

Remember, every golf ball needs a golf club to help it get going!

The good news is, that once you get moving, inertia is also on your side. An object (or person) in motion tends to stay in motion until another force acts upon them.

Now get going!

A Hopeful Time of Year!

May is a hopeful time of year as we start to plant our gardens in Southern Minnesota. Planting represents hope for a positive future. The act reflects a commitment to nurture growth, fostering qualities like kindness and love for a better world.

At work today, the hot topic was planting gardens. No, I do not work in a garden center, but I do work with many people that enjoy the possibilities that spring planting brings. In Southern Minnesota, Mother’s Day is the magic day that we wait for (May 11th this year). After Mother’s Day, it is safe (supposedly) to plant our gardens. Side note: This is also the same weekend as the MN Walleye opener (May 10th). I choose planting – the Walleye can wait!

Planting is an act of Hope. Hope is the desire that something good is going to come in the future. Hope is that belief that the effort you are putting in now is going to pay off in the way you want some time in the future. Hope is an acknowledgement that you are looking forward to a future that is different from today.

When you plant, you hold in your hand the tiniest of seeds. You place it in the ground and gently cover it with dirt. Maybe you’re like me and you return each day to see if anything is sprouting yet, hoping for something that looks like what you planted and not another weed. You watch the rainfall, making sure that the little seed is getting enough water. You keep an eye on the critters, making sure they aren’t digging in your garden. You do what you can to protect and nurture that little seed, hoping all along that at some point a little sprout will pop through the dirt.

My experience is that about 50% of the vegetable plants that I start from seed successfully make it to harvest. Some vegetables do much better than others, and a lot of it depends on what the deer eat! But every year I enter this season with the same hope of creating something beautiful in my garden. It is a hopeful time of year!

Let is be a hopeful time of year for you too! Start planting seeds right now. Seeds can grow more than plants. Sow seeds of courage, generosity, kindness, love. And live in the hope that we can make this world better each day!

Spring – A Time for Renewal

The arrival of spring brings a sense of renewal, as nature awakens from winter. Birdsong returns, and life reemerges with flourishing greenery and active wildlife. This season inspires a mood of optimism, reflecting on the cyclical nature of life.

Earlier this week, as I was practicing yoga, I heard something beautiful. It was early in the morning; the sun was just peeking over the horizon. I almost couldn’t believe my ears.  Bird song!  Their back!  Spring has arrived!

April is the month of rebirth in the northern states.  When April showers arrive, they wash away the sand and salt from the roads and sidewalks.  The earth begins to thaw. Showers and warming temperatures signal to the grass and trees to start their journey back from their winter slumber.  New growth begins to show through the mulch and leaves on the flower beds.  Animals that have been sleeping through the winter begin to emerge.

My mood cheers as I see these events taking place.  I find myself wandering through my yard seeking out the signs of renewed life.  I actually look forward to spring cleaning, both outside and inside. It is time to shake off the winter and feel the freshness of spring.

This season reminds me of one of my favorite bible passages:  Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (NIV)

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

    a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,

    a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,

    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,

    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

    a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,

    a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak, 

    a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

May the rebirth of spring refresh you in body, mind, and spirit.

Buried Rocks, Beautiful Potential

Just as hidden rocks hinder plant growth, buried past struggles can affect our lives. Embracing and transforming these challenges can lead to growth, empathy, and the ability to uplift others, ultimately creating a beautiful foundation.

Remember that flower bed I wrote about in my first post? I mentioned that the soil was hard and rocky. That was a bit of an understatement. This flower bed has layers of rocks laid down by previous owners as they made improvements over the years. One owner covering up the landscape left by the previous one. Digging in this soil is nearly impossible, every plunge of the shovel hits – you guessed it – rocks.

When we bought this home, that flower bed was covered with a spreading evergreen bush. It was nice looking, and there was no way of knowing that all of these rocks were hiding under it before we pulled the bush out. Now, I keep trying to plant flowers and bushes into that rocky soil. I shouldn’t be surprised that they aren’t growing well or achieving their full beautiful potential.

We are the same. Everyone has a past and many of us have rocks that we try to bury in the dirt and plant over as we keep trudging forward. Eventually, though, even as we are trying to plant something new, the rocks in the soil prevent it from really taking root. Discouragement sets in.

But rocks can also be turned into something positive. They can be used to create foundations and build up something beautiful. Rocks can become homes and provide shelter. Rocks can become beautiful walls in the landscape. They can become a work of art.

Looks at the rocks from your past, instead of trying to cover them up, maybe even layering rocks on top of rocks, and planting over them, use them to create a firm foundation for building something better. Even our worst or most embarrassing life experiences can become a thing of beauty when we acknowledge them and learn from them. They can create in us a feeling of empathy for others and bring us alongside others in their times of struggle. We can offer them a kind word and supporting hand because we have already walked where they now stand. Our life experiences are not meant to be covered and hidden by a false smile or sarcastic comment. They are meant to be used to lift others up.

If you have buried rocks in your garden of life, don’t waste your energy trying to hide them. I encourage you to seek out someone that you trust, maybe even a professional, explore those rocks and use them to create a foundation to build something beautiful.

This Moment

The author shares her connection to Jeremy Camp’s song “Keep Me in the Moment,” emphasizing its relevance during times of distraction and overwhelm. She illustrates how distractions can hinder living intentionally. The message urges the importance of being present in life.

One of my favorite songs is by Christian singer/songwriter Jeremy Camp. It is called “Keep Me in the Moment” (you can listen to it on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xb1bx3hYfzg).

This song speaks directly to me. It is my go-to song whenever I feel like I am becoming distracted or overwhelmed. Have you ever been so distracted in the present moment that you miss something big? Maybe you are worrying about the future or stewing on the past. Maybe you are deep in a book and not giving attention to those around you. I’ll give you one example from my own life.

I typically don’t go on road trips longer than 2 hours by myself, but I had a meeting in the other corner of the state and a 4-hour journey ahead of me. The trip up to this town in the Northwest of Minnesota went fine, and the meeting was great. The next morning at 5am I started the drive home. I had downloaded an audio book and was listening to it on the drive home. Once I turned onto the Interstate (and familiar territory) I turned off the GPS on my phone and listened to the book as I cruised along for the final hour of the drive. Suddenly, I realized that while I was still on the Interstate, I didn’t recognize my surroundings. I was still headed south, but the landscape was unfamiliar to me. I had been driving on “auto pilot” as I listened to the book. When I saw the sign for the next exit, I realized I had overshot my exit by some 15 miles! I exited, turned around, and headed home.

In this example, I was the only one impacted. There have been other times in my life where my level of distraction impacted those around me. I couldn’t show up as the wife, mother, or friend that I wanted to be. I was not living in the moment. My thoughts were consumed by concerns for the future or regrets of the past.

When we don’t stay in the present moment for whatever reason we are missing out on the opportunity to live our lives intentionally, engaging with those around us. I’m not saying that we should stop thinking about the impacts of our actions and throw caution to the wind. What I am saying is that we can’t let those thoughts get out of control and become all consuming. At some point, we have to go out and live.

Take a listen to the song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xb1bx3hYfzg). Does it speak to you too? Remember, this life matters! This time matters! Be present.

The Seeds of Time

The parable of the sower illustrates how time, like seeds, can yield different results based on how it is allocated. The author reflects on the value of time and encourages readers to examine how they spend their waking hours. Recognizing time usage is key to meaningful change and aligning actions with personal goals.

Then he told them many things in parables, saying: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. Whoever has ears, let them hear.” (Matthew 13:3-9, NIV)

This parable, from the gospel of Matthew, came to mind today. Later in the gospel, Jesus goes on to explain the meaning of this parable as it relates to faith. For me though, it took on a different meaning this morning. I was thinking of this parable in terms of time.

Time is a precious resource, always moving forward, and once spent, it can never be regained. We can “plant” our time in ways that it will grow and bear fruit, or we can just throw it away on rocky soil. What we do with our time matters!

Bob Goff drives this point home in his book “Undistracted” (2022). It is an excellent read and I highly recommend it. He looks at the number of days an average person lives and emphasizes that what we do in that time matters deeply! I had to break that down a bit, and think of time as hours in a day, not days in a lifetime. In a 24 hour day, assuming you sleep for approximately 8 hours, you have 16 waking hours. Of course, there are basic things you need to take care of such as food, shelter and hygiene. So, let’s say you have 12 hours then to plant as your seeds of time for the day.

What do you do? Take a moment to think about where your time goes. Actually list it out! On any given day, my list may include things like watching TV, surfing the internet, scrolling social media, talking with family and friends, working at a career, volunteering, and the list goes on. What does your list show? Actually, track this for a few days and make a timeline of your day!

Now reread the parable of the seeds. Remember, you have 12 seeds of time to scatter each day? How many of those seeds are falling along the path or the rocky places or the thorns where they won’t grow and bear fruit? How many are falling on fertile soil, growing into something that makes a difference in your life or the lives of others?

Now if you did this exercise and are happy with how you are sowing your allotment of seeds – good for you! Keep at it!

If you are like me and thought “I waste a lot of time!” TAKE HEART! Realizing is the first step to change. Now you know where your time is going, and you have the ability to change it if you want to. Look back at your dreams for 2025 (see the last blog) and make sure, to the extent you can, you are sowing your time in a way that aligns with your dreams. It isn’t easy to change, so be intentional today, and every day, where you sow the seeds of your time.

(Image generated by AI)

New Year, New Dreams: How to Ignite Your Passion and Set Meaningful Goals

Resolution is a 4-letter word! Instead of setting New Year’s Resolutions for 2025, let’s explore our dreams for the year ahead and set meaningful goals to make them a reality.

If you read my last post, you’ll know I was taking some time to reflect on 2024. I proposed 10 questions to guide this reflection. I looked back at my decisions, not to second guess them, but rather to see how they contributed to where I am today. In 2024, my theme was “Curiosity, Courage, Compassion, Connection”. This served as a guide to the questions that I asked myself as the year went on, especially when I was experiencing new situations. This reminded me to stop making my world smaller and to step out to strengthen connections. I have to say, I feel pretty good about 2024 – the accomplishments and the way I approached challenges. My world is definitely bigger now.

Now it is time to start thinking about the year ahead.

I don’t believe in setting New Year’s resolutions anymore. Been there, done that, and failed multiple times to see them through. So often, when we set resolutions (this should be a 4-letter word) we are focused on our short comings: I’m too shy, too fat, too slow, too (insert defect here).

This year, I am exploring my dreams. No, not the dreams I have when I am sleeping (those are too weird), I’m talking about the dreams that I have for my life. I am a big fan of dreaming, exploring possibilities! Dreams ignite motivation and fuel personal growth.

“You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream” – C S Lewis

I was listening to a sermon last Sunday (cor.org December 29, 2024), and the pastor proposed the following self-reflection questions to prepare for the new year (Notes in italics are mine):

  • Who am I? (What defines me? What are my strengths? Gifts?)
  • What dreams do I have for my life? (Life is short, what do I want to achieve or accomplish with the time I have? How do I want to be remembered?)
  • What obstacles are preventing me from pursuing my dreams? (Real or imagined, what is holding me back. What are my growth opportunities?)
  • What am I most afraid of happening should I chase this dream? (My preferred take on this question: What is the best thing that could happen should I chase this dream?)
  • What are 3 practical things I could do today to explore these dreams? (Time to take action… NOW!)
  • Who can I vet these dreams with? (I don’t have to figure this out alone, who can walk this journey with me?)

You might be thinking “This sounds like a lot” and maybe your tempted to jump right in to setting goals for the year. Remember, goals are a way to achieve dreams. A goal without a dream is just another item on the to-do list that you can ultimately check off, but it doesn’t really feed into something bigger. When you create the dream, you know exactly what the goal ties to and you will be far less likely to give up.

As we journey together into the new year, I’ll be dreaming big, setting goals, and moving forward. And yes, I’ll be doing all of this in my garden!

Happy New Year my friend. You are full of possibilities. Take a little time at the start of the new year to explore YOUR DREAMS! And if you need someone to believe in your dreams with you, just let me know!

Enjoying the View

As the year comes to a close, I’ve been thinking about how best to reflect on this year before I jump into the new one. I spent many years as a project manager and one of the keys to wrapping up a project was the “Lessons Learned” activity. If you aren’t familiar with this, here is a brief outline of the concept.

Get all of the project stakeholders together and ask the following questions:

  1. What did we do well?
  2. What could we do better?
  3. What should we keep doing on future projects?
  4. What should we change going forward?

Seems simple, right? You might be surprised at the conversation these questions can drive. Everyone gets to share their opinion, and many times there is a group that feels something was done well while another group sees it as a miss. It all depends on your perspective. The end goal is to help the next project be more successful than the one that was just completed.

Now, these aren’t the exact questions I’m thinking about, and I am certainly not planning to get a group together to ask what I did well and what I could have done better. This isn’t a 360-performance review of my year; this is my internal reflection. That being said, here are some questions I am reflecting on myself as I close out the year.

  1. What am I proud of accomplishing this year?
  2. What surprised me this year?
  3. What is one book/movie/article that impacted the way I think about life? Why?
  4. What new things did I try this year?
  5. What did I let go of / stop doing that I would like to re-establish?
  6. What did I let go of this year that lifted a weight off my shoulders?
  7. What did I start doing this year that I need to let go of?
  8. What did I start doing this year that made a positive difference in my life?
  9. Who were 5 important people that influenced my life on a personal level?
  10. What am I leaving unresolved and why?

Now, look back at those answers. Is there a word or sentence that sums up the theme of the year?

I’m not going to share my answers now, as it will take me a few days to work through this. I encourage you to take this list, make it your own, and work through it as the year comes to a close. Then, check back on January 1st as we start the process of setting intentions (NOT RESOLUTIONS) for the new year!